This is so true and vivid and real. And I understand ANY truth behind the fiction. While I luckily didn't have it too severely, PPD is a terrible thing to have, but it is NOT anyone's fault.
James was the quietest baby. I don't say that to brag; I say that out of luck. I am loud and crazy. I have personalities and drama and chaos. And yet, I birthed this tiny, quiet little thing who was rarely ever loud. Even now, he'd rather sit and do math than run around screaming. And I think, whose child is this? There were moments of chaos, of course - hence why this resonates - but I was lucky. Our whole family was.
Not everyone has this, and it's good to see both sides. It's good to read both sides, and to feel that compassion again. Even in my best of moments, I sometimes picked up the phone, called my husband, and in tears, said, "Come home. I'm not a good mother. I need you. I need help."
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Date: 2019-01-05 07:48 am (UTC)James was the quietest baby. I don't say that to brag; I say that out of luck. I am loud and crazy. I have personalities and drama and chaos. And yet, I birthed this tiny, quiet little thing who was rarely ever loud. Even now, he'd rather sit and do math than run around screaming. And I think, whose child is this? There were moments of chaos, of course - hence why this resonates - but I was lucky. Our whole family was.
Not everyone has this, and it's good to see both sides. It's good to read both sides, and to feel that compassion again. Even in my best of moments, I sometimes picked up the phone, called my husband, and in tears, said, "Come home. I'm not a good mother. I need you. I need help."
Thank you for writing this.