flipflop_diva

I almost die on Thunder Mountain at Disneyland when I am three years old.

Or so my grandparents say. I don’t remember, and there is no one else to confirm or deny the claim. My dad is in Germany, traveling for work. My mother is pregnant with my sister, and even back then, they know not to let pregnant women ride on roller coasters.

They don’t seem to know the same when it comes to three year olds. They let me on the ride along with my grandparents. It’s being beta tested to work out the kinks; the official opening will come a few months later.

I sit on the bench in the little wooden train between my grandmother and my grandfather. They lower the lap bar, but I’m too little for it to really do much.

The ride starts, this newfangled coaster exploring the Old West. It twists and turns, chugs slowly uphill and speeds quickly downhill. Somewhere along the way, I slip, sliding right off the bench and under the bar.

My grandparents notice. They each grab an arm. Keep me from flying off the ride and on to the tracks.

Keep me alive, my grandmother tells me years later.

I appreciate it, of course, but I don’t remember it. And as far as I can tell, there are absolutely no lingering side effects.

For as far back as I can remember, Thunder Mountain has always been my favorite ride.

•••

There is something about roller coasters I’ve always loved. The anticipation of the next turn, the next drop, the next burst of speed. The tiny moments where you’re suspended in air. What it must feel like to fly, I always think.

The wind rushing past you, your hair flying out behind you. The exhilaration of being free. Of screaming into the rush.

The smile that always spreads across my face, the happiness that bubbles in my chest.

There is just something about them I love.

•••

My sister almost dies on Tower of Terror at Walt Disney World at age twenty-two.

Or so she claims. She tell everyone it’s my fault. I don’t confirm or deny.

She’s hated roller coasters as long as I can remember. She goes on Thunder Mountain when she is seven years old, sitting in the car next to my dad while I sit by my mom in the car in front of theirs. I can still hear her high-pitched scream in my ear at the first hint of a drop, can still hear her sobbing ridiculously hard.

She vows never to ride that thing again. My mother happily agrees to sit out with her, having never fully recovered from the trauma of my dad making her ride Space Mountain years before.

She keeps her promise for years and years, until her friends in college all want to go and she doesn’t want them to know she’s been too scared.

Now, she claims she’s a tentative fan. So much so that she agrees to go on Tower of Terror with me when it opens at California Adventure.

My first time on Tower of Terror is at Disney World. I go alone because no one else will go with me. But I explain how the ride works to my sister as we stand in the line out in California — how the elevator goes up, how the doors open, how there’s a little ride similar in a way to the Haunted Mansion before the elevator gets back into place. And then and only then do the drops start.

My sister is prepared. We board our elevator. It moves up. And up and up and up.

Finally, we stop. I wait for the doors to open, to take us on a little journey through the hotel part of the ride.

The doors never open.

We drop. What feels like thousands of feet.

My sister’s scream rings in my ear.

“I’m going to kill you!” she shrieks.

“I didn’t know it would be different!” I repeat over and over, once we are finally back on solid ground. She just glares at me.

She never goes on Tower of Terror again. (I, of course, go many, many times.)

•••

My husband doesn’t like roller coasters. My sister still does not like roller coasters. My dad won’t ride roller coasters anymore.

My brother-in-law, though, he likes roller coasters, probably even more than me.

He takes my nephew on Space Mountain when he’s seven years old. James comes out crying, rushing straight to his mother to bury his head against her.

A year later, my brother-in-law takes my niece. She’s only five, but she’s as tall as some ten-year-olds so she passes the height requirement.

She, too, comes out crying and rushes to her mother.

My sister looks at her husband, shakes her head at him, bends down to Caitlin.

“It’s okay,” my sister says. “You don’t have to ride it again.”

Caitlin cries harder. “But I want to ride it again now!” she finally yells. “And Daddy said no!”

I grin when my sister tells me this story. There is hope for the future of our family after all.

•••

The last time I’ve been on a roller coaster is three years ago. Fittingly, the last roller coaster I’ve been on is Thunder Mountain.

I’m in Orlando for work. My co-worker, Fred, and I stay an extra day just so we can go to Disney. He’s never been on Thunder Mountain before. I am horrified.

We don’t get to my favorite Old West roller coaster until an hour before the park closes. We ask for the back car (my favorite place to sit) and are granted our request. We pull the lap bar down and grin as our train starts moving.

At the top of the first hill, we can see out over the park. Night has fallen, and everything is lit. It’s breathtaking.

Then we’re moving, whipping around corners and flying over dips and we’re screaming and laughing and smiling.

“Again?” Fred says as soon as we step off, and he doesn’t have to ask twice.

We go again and again and again, as many times as we can fit in an hour. We’re tired from a long day, our feet hurt, the exit is still a bit of a walk away.

There are two minutes left till closing time. We can do one more ride. Fred and I glance at each other, smile, get back in line.

We ask for the back car. There’s barely anyone left.

“No hands?” I say to Fred.

“Let’s do it,” he says.

“Hang on to your hats and glasses, folks!” the speaker inside the ride intones. “For this here’s the wildest ride in the wilderness!”

I smile. This will never ever get old.






non-fiction.




Thank you for reading! This was written for Week 17 of the therealljidol. We each had to write five entries this week. If you would like to read the entries from the other contestants, you can find them here!